Excerpt from the Simon Rich piece in The New Yorker called "Play Nice: If adults were subjected to the same indignities as children…"
Lou Rosenblatt: Can I drive your car? I’ll give it back when I’m done.
Mrs. Herson: I’m sorry, do I know you?
Lou Rosenblatt: No, but we’re the same age and we use the same garage.
Mrs. Herson: No offense, sir, but I really don’t feel comfortable lending you my car. I mean, it’s by far my most important possession.
Brian Herson: Mom, I’m surprised at you! What did we learn about sharing?
Mrs. Herson: You’re right . . . I’m sorry. Take my Mercedes.
Parents and teachers have a difficult row to hoe. In addition to the ethical responsibilities we heap upon kids (to share, to care, to problemsolve with words) is the concern and disapproval adults express when children enjoy play behaviors that seem opposed to our values. This includes power play. This includes pretend guns (and other weaponry).
This is especially difficult when national and world events have served to create more anxiety in adults (and children). How can we keep children safe in a violent culture? Does violent play lead to violent acts or does power play allow children the room to work out their curiosity and ideas about weapons and death in a safe environment? How do parents and teachers work this out with children and each other?
We must agree to persist in discussion with compassion. We must respond not react. We must commit to looking at children through their lens, with love and trust, and in the spirit of support.
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