Raising a Thankful Child

Being present and aware of the blessings we have been given is the greatest gift. Adults are often thankful for the gift of children. But how do we raise a thankful child?

(Below reprinted from Zero to Three http://www.zerotothree.org/)

Raising a Thankful Child

Being appreciative and thankful for what one has and for what others do for us—values we venture to guess most parents want their children to develop as they grow. But during those visits to the toy store, when your child is begging (or maybe even demanding or screaming) for the latest and greatest gadget she must have—you may wonder how (and when) children develop gratitude.

The fact is, it may take a few years yet for you to receive the thank you that you really deserve: Thank you for cupping your hand under my chin when I threw up my ravioli. Thank you for putting diaper ointment on me while I had that stomach thing. Thank you for cutting the scratchy labels out before I put on my shirt. Thank you for letting me watch the ants march by on the sidewalk for as long as I wanted. Thank you for always having tissues in your bag. Thank you for asking if the restaurant has crayons. Thanks for kissing my forehead when I have a bad dream. You’re the best!

So while children may not show outward appreciation or thankfulness much before age 3, like other values you want to instill in your child, you can start nurturing the idea of gratitude even in your child’s first year.


Ways to Raise a Thankful Child

Keep gifts reasonable. As tempting as it is to shower—or allow others to shower—your child with gifts, there are two important reasons not to. First, as children grow, it can be challenging to teach gratitude if they receive everything they ask for.

Secondly, a lot of gifts are overwhelming for small children. They can’t focus on or appreciate any one gift if they get so many. Often, they don’t even make it through opening all of them before they lose interest! Instead, you might suggest that family members choose 1 or 2 gifts for children. Explain that the fewer gifts, the more children will play with and appreciate them. If you are planning a large birthday party, consider asking close family members to bring gifts to a smaller event before the big one starts. For the big party, you might ask attendees to provide book donations for a local literacy programs or toys for disadvantaged children. This can be a good way to communicate the importance of giving and gratefulness.


Look for ways to be involved in community giving with your toddler. Between ages 2 and 3, you can begin to talk with your toddler about how he can help others who don’t have as much as he does. Look for opportunities with a clear connection between your child’s efforts and the recipients. Good choices include:

Helping dogs/cats at your local shelter: We are playing with these dogs and cats who need lots of love and attention.
Collecting canned foods for a local food pantry: We are helping people who need more food. They will eat the food we bring. Our food will help them feel strong and healthy.
Collecting jackets, hats and mittens for a local children’s program: The jackets we bring will help other children, just like you, stay warm during the winter.

Show thankfulness to your children. It’s easy to forget, but important to do. Thank you for cooperating at the doctor’s office. Thank you for getting your jacket when I asked. Thank you for coming right away when I said it was time to leave the park; I know it was hard for you to get off the swing. Thank you for your hug—it made me feel so happy!


Prompt children to use thankful words. Thankfulness is a complex idea. It will be a while yet before your child truly “gets” it. But reminding children to say “please” and “thank you” (beginning at about 18 months) is a good start. Because it will take some time for them to learn when to use these words, you’ll probably be providing prompts for a while.


Read books about what it means to be thankful. Books help children make sense of new ideas. Keep in mind that your child’s understanding of a book at 14 months will be different than what she gets out of it at 35 months—another good reason to share these stories over time. As she grows, talk with her about the stories and pictures and explore what it means to be “thankful.” Some age-appropriate choices for children aged 12 to 36-month-old include:

Biscuit Is Thankful by Alyssa Satin Capucilli and Pat Schories

Little Critter: Just So Thankful by Mercer Mayer

Feeling Thankful by Shelly Rotner

Thanksgiving Is for Giving Thanks by Margaret Sutherland

I’m Thankful Each Day by P.K. Hallninan

Giving Thanks: A Native American Good Morning Message by Jake Swamp

All the Places to Love by Patricia MacLachlan

Involve children in writing thank-you notes. While you can’t sit your young child down with a pen and a stack of cards, you can involve her in showing thanks in age-appropriate ways. Snap a photo of your baby or toddler playing with a new toy or wearing a new outfit and include it with your thank you note. Ask your toddler to draw a picture for the gift-giver and, again, include with your note. You can ask your toddler: Grampy got you a new truck. Do you like it? What do you like about it the best? Copy down your child’s words in the note you write. Toddlers can also be involved in sticking a stamp on the envelope and putting the note in the mailbox. Starting early makes this important tradition of gratitude an everyday part of children’s lives.


Start traditions for showing thanks. These traditions give children a lifetime memory of gratefulness and giving in the context of family. Some ideas:

Make a “what I am thankful for” tree. Use a paper towel tube for the trunk. Cut leaf shapes out of construction paper and write on each leaf something your child says he is thankful for. Glue the paper leaves onto the tube/trunk. Ideally, every family member who is old enough to participate should make a tree each year.

Begin dinnertime once a week with every family member saying something they are grateful for.

Instead of a birthday gifts, write your child an “appreciation letter” describing all the different ways your child has grown and changed that year, and all the things you love and appreciate about him. These letters, beginning in each child’s first year, can be kept in a special binder in children’s rooms.

Think about what it means to be thankful in your family and culture. Share stories about gratefulness that are drawn from your family history, community and culture. For example, one family tells their son a story about his grandmother who, during the Great Depression, once received only an orange for Christmas but “it was the sweetest orange she ever had and she was grateful.” Each year, along with his other gifts, the son receives an orange as well.

His mother remembers, When our son was 3 and heard this story, he just focused on how his grandmother didn’t get any toys. When he was 7, he said he felt sad for his Grandma just getting the orange and wanted to get her something ‘really good’ that year for Christmas. By the time he was 11, he really got the point of the story. When we handed him his Christmas orange, he told us, ’You know, I think mine is the sweetest I ever had, too.’ The story really became a way for him to connect with our past as a family.

Winter Celebrations

The Home Sweet Home community will be celebrating the winter holidays and honoring family traditions throughout the month of December. Parents are encouraged to share family holiday/seasonal traditions with the children by bringing in books or orchestrating cooking or craft projects that reflect cultural holiday traditions important to their families. This could be as simple as reading a story to the group at circle time or as elaborate as baking Challah. Grandparents and extended family are invited to participate as well. Please communicate your availability to teachers so that your share can go on the calendar.

On Friday, December 17th at 10:00am the Home Sweet Home community is invited to the “Joy Through Music” holiday party. This will be a joint effort between the Special Events committee and parent musicians. The theme is “Stars: a Light in the Darkness”. The teachers will be exploring the concept of stars in Nature during the month of December and the children will be performing some star related songs as a group at the party. We will be treated to performances from our talented parent musicians and interested children are encouraged to choose and practice at home, a star-themed piece such as a song or a poem to perform solo or with friends or family . For example, Jasper wants to sing a song with his Grandma (perhaps the stage fright will settle in and we will be treated to just Grandma). Parents are invited to help their children create a star/light costume for to wear on this day. This could be a costume that represents light within their holiday tradition or, for the aspiring astrophysicist, a solar system headpiece. There will be a potluck immediately following the performances. We will post a food sign-up sheet in the next few weeks. The Big Friends will be creating an Evite for all current families and alumni. Extended family members are encouraged to attend as well.

On a personal note, I wanted to acknowledge that December can be a really busy month for working parents. I had to miss the last two years of special events at Home Sweet Home because of work commitments and I always felt pretty bummed out that I couldn’t be there. If you can’t make it it’s not the end of the world. We are going to tape it so that all parents can share in what will probably be a very sweet party. If you don’t have time to make a costume, please let me know and I can help you out. If you don’t have time to do a parent share, no big deal. If you want to become more involved with this event, we will be having a Special Events committee meeting on Wednesday December 1st at 5pm.

Cheers!

Heather (Jasper’s Mom)

Making Sweet Music

The Music Committee met again this morning and mapped out a curriculum called "Instrument of the Month". The goal will be for children to engage with a musician and learn about an instrument each month (or more frequently.) Parents are invited to sign up for their speciality and/or volunteer a friend with this talent.

2011

January - Paul (Emmett's dad) fretted instruments

February - Dina (Cosmo's mom) viola

March - Clark (Cosmo's dad) accordian (date tentative)

As a specific day and time are nailed down, we invite all our Home Sweet Home children to join in for this special celebration. Parents, please feel free to drop-in for the music event with your child even if this is not your regular attendance day.

The Joy Through Music event is Friday, December 17, 2010 from 10:00AM - 12:00PM. There will be more details released by parent leadership. We appreciate that not all parents can join us at this time, so we are trying to film the event and release to parents on dvd.

A New Baby

Tyler Elizabeth Price (7 lbs., 6oz) was born at 4:00PM on Saturday, November 13th! Congratulations to Cierra and Larry on this great joy!

Gratitude

It's pretty fabulous that cool things just keep happening at Home Sweet Home. This morning Kris (Katy's mom) and Federica (Elisa's mom) came to support garden clean-up and set-up the worm compost factory. This is literally fun in a bucket - a bucket full of writhing Lumbricus terrestris! With newspaper scraps, mulch and layers of organic fruit waste, our kids watered their worms and got the factory up and running. Check it out in the "new" garden - next to the log cabin. Phase two is more wine cask planters and starting our Winter Garden (kale, cauliflower and cabbages).


Our sandbox continues to be a source of pride and pleasure. Home Sweet Home is working with Ava Brandt's grandparents to get in a nice load of playground sand - and we will top it with some silica free sand.


Heather (Jasper's mom) set up a pretty cute clothesline to surprise and celebrate Cierra! Many thanks to all the parents who brought in gifts to decorate the day, and kudos to Heather for her muffin madness.


What a wonderful month - warm or rainy, Home Sweet Home is grateful to all our friends for continuing to enhance our learning community with incredible talent, hard work and positive energy.

Special Days in November

Thursday, November 18, 2010 - Parent Education Night
Kathleen provides information on how Home Sweet Home seeks to deliver the concept of Children's 100 Languages from Reggio Emilia through our environment, flow of the day, and relationship with families. 6:00PM-8:00PM

Big Friend Feast on Friday, November 19, 2010!
Please feel free to come and banquet with our BASE high school and Home Sweet Home children from 12:00-1:00. No need to send lunch this day - children will eat with their Big Friends! Banquet contribution sign-up sheet will be posted November 12th.

Birthday Celebrations for our Home Sweet Home Children!
Sing it out for:

Dashiell Von Stroheim = 11/5

Giuliana Means = 11/9

Cash Davidson = 11/10

Ziggy Mintz = 11/19

Gabriel Speed = 11/25

Violet Sorenson = 11/29

Acknowledgements
Many thanks to fearless leader Dorinda Von Stroheim (Dashiell's mom) and all of our dedicated parents who delivered such a wonderful Halloween Carnival. It was truly a spooktacular event that thrilled the children and impressed the staff. We are very grateful!

Thank you to all the parents who participated in our Parent Teacher Conference Day! We appreciate the time honored to discuss your unique and wonderful child. The Omnibus Work Sampling System is designed to enhance the process of teacher observation. By providing a developmental context through identifying a specific skill, behavior or accomplishment, teachers can use Omnibus as a tool to reflect on their observation of individual children in the classroom and share this perception with team members and families. The most valuable opportunity that Parent-Teacher conference provides is the exchange of information between home and school. Because children often highlight a different set of skills at home, parents who share their view of their child provide teachers with a strong understanding of the Whole Child. This insight profoundly supports the activities and design of learning environment.